PreJudging Upcoming movies: Batman3, The Hobbit… and hot chicks in insane asylums!

Here is some unnecessary fan boy ranting about upcoming movies. In response to MovieBob’s blog post on The Escapist. I was pleased to try and counter the writer’s rampant pessimism (it’s like a mirror!) with some weird sardonic optimism. But then I felt the need to follow up. With nasty pessimism. wtf? I don’t know why I always end up getting so negative about things I enjoy (or expect to enjoy!). but. I spent some time writing it. so i feel the need to preserve it. in all it’s creative uglies: My Rant from the forums:

Here’s something to be thankful about this year: both John Carpenter and Zach Snyder are releasing movies about ridiculously hot chicks in insane asylums.

what’s not to love about insane asylum movies? what’s not to love about gaggles of hot ladies? what’s not to love about john carpenter working again?
(well, those last two questions might be sketchy. but. i think they offer incentive to think positive!)

Plus, David Fincher is shooting his needless remake of Men Who Hate women, and Trent Reznor just announced he’s already been working on the score for it for several weeks. Don’t know if this progress means it is due to come out this year. but. if so: it’s a film to be excited about!

Also, Darren Aronofsky is tackling The Wolverine! I’d bet money he’ll get fired before he can make the first genuinely disturbing and artistic comic book movie. but. who knows!

think positive!

(plus, del toro and cameron teaming up to make “the first grand hp lovecraft adaptation” is exciting, no? even though it won’t be out for several centuries after the end of mankind’s brief reign on this insignificant pebble? Cheer up!)

and also:

In other news, i’m sure Nolan and the WB producers are smart enough to already know they can’t match The Dark Knight’s box office phenomenon, and are designing their film to fit in appropriately as a step down from that super-money-maker.

Also, why be bummed when a batman movie doesn’t make enough HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of dollars? I’d be bummed if Nolan had bailed and some hack had taken over the reigns while everyone was trying to pretend it turn out “ok” (ala x-men 3). But even if the box office fails to compare, Nolan’s final batman will almost certainly be something interesting for us comic book nerds to chew over. forever.

(and it will certainly make many HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of dollars). I agree that making less buck will be the story many douchey press types run with. but. I can’t fathom why that’s depressing.

Neptunus: I agree with what you’re saying. (Phantom menace was an over thought pandering to fanboys that sadly hit all the wrong notes, without taking any interesting chances – while TheHobbit was already written before the epic followup)

But,  consider this nerd trivia (from the LOTR commentary tracks) : at some point Jackson and writing crew were trying to wedge arwen into the battle at helm’s deep so they could have more of a marketable simplified love story. Until it leaked to the internet and they witnessed the frothing fan backlash. The fact that this zany idea was soooo close to going in – deeply worries me. I’m sure it would have been lovely and romantic on some level. but. I think it demonstrates a disturbing interest in formulaic blockbuster pandering over fan-service and adherence to the source material.

Jackson and crew are impressive workers. However. It’s valid to guess that TheHobbit isn’t going to recapture the magic of LOTR. It’ll be a miracle if they dodge the bullet of fanboys (like me) ripping it apart for years after. It’ll either be too similar to the book (and thus too kiddy and full of weird songs and zero romance) or too different from the book (adopting darker elements and unnecessary characters from LOTR). walking this line is next to impossible! And even if they do it perfectly, fanboys love to complain about shit on the internet for no good goddamn reason. Which will ruin the magic. It’s like the project was fucked at birth. Doomed to be this hobbled thing which some huge group of people is going to perceive as disgusting travesty.

I doubt they’ll make weird ruinous changes to the story for romance (??? wait! We’ll have to wait and seeeEEEee! remember this! I doubt it less every second!), but I think his team straight fucked up with their last movie, The Lovely Bones : A magical coming of age story we can all enjoy – about child rape and death. I would applaud them as rock stars for tackling this bizarre topic as a “pretty fantasy movie for girls”, except they softened it into merely being about child death. TOO LATE, PEOPLE! And then it was bizarrely marketed as something else entirely. Bleh. I’d bet Jackson made the movie because his wife-ish loved the book, but he couldn’t resist taking it in rambling wrong directions – to weakly try to please more people.

Also, I would argue that King Kong was a rambling example of : obvious problems.

and hubris.

man. i’m being so mean. sorry. I’m just enjoying fan boy rage rambling here. sorry. I’m not really angry about any of this. eek. heh. hmmf.

Random Bonus:
From CES, Oliver Stone, Michael Mann, and Baz Luhrmann whore themselves strangely for bluray plastic (video!). Dig the second video, where Oliver Stone masterfully explains how bluray is already a dead format so you should stock up now for future rarity cred. Oliver Stone kind of disgusts me, and baffles me, but is somehow consistently the most important filmmaker in my geeky life (random insightful note to explain that thought: I’m the son of a vietnam veteran who became a mechanical engineer in silicon valley, and a late 60s Berkley art school dropout single-mom who became a pottery and glass craftsman. Both were heavily active in Mensa in San Francisco for decades. I feel this explains why I feel a strong adoration for Oliver Stone, without approving of him personally).

Advertisements

One Comment to “PreJudging Upcoming movies: Batman3, The Hobbit… and hot chicks in insane asylums!”

  1. wish more people would recognize that Serenity put the final nail in star wars. It was a movie about a disillusioned smuggler and his rebel crew bringing down the empire without any terroristic deathstar bombings. And it ends with hand solo basically beating a jedi to death with his bare hands.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: