Demon’s Souls (1%) – 10/10!

(The idea of this title is to mention how much of the game I’ve played before giving this rating. So i could go back at 50% and say “shit/10”, and again at whatever point I give up on ever playing it again).

So I basically got through the training levels last night. Which might even be less than 1% of the game?
But I’m totally psyched to go on, so I feel a need to rant it out.

* I’m still avidly addicted to watching Zero Punc. (which I think would be a charming new name/spelling for the show, implying both punk rock and a disdain for explaining your abbreviations through the use of proper punctuation).

Yesterday’s installment is what convinced me to go buy Demon’s Souls (PS3).
Indeed, the game is hilariously difficult. like, imagine a slower paced hack and slash (same dude, every 20 feet) except every dude you run into is very likely to kill you. This is super tense. You’re constantly like “oh fuck! oh fuck. fuck. FUCK! that fucking guy destroyed me. I have no health left. why are all these crates empty? shit. i need health. WHERE IS MORE HEALTH! AHHHHH! ohhhhHHHHH SHIT ANOTHER GUY AHHHH!!!”.

* Maybe it is more enjoyable due to all the complaints I’ve read about it. … The opening cinematic was so confusing I really doubt you are expected to follow it. Maybe a poor translation or something. but. Just seems like a rambling rant full of strange names and characters. like, lots of them. That left me thinking “uh, was i supposed to follow all that?” Maybe they fancy themselves serious writers, and it’s a blind spot of theirs to recognize the different between: dense text on a page – and – that same dense narration over beautiful swirling visuals you can only watch once. The way that each loading screen highlights some random dude from the intro animation makes me nervous. Do they want me to memorize all these names? maybe bring them up in conversation? “So you know how MacDuff is like this weird androgynous warrior? No? well, what about Sir Richtegawin the theiving squire of Gondarlorkinan? You know, the 7th warrior lost to the great black mysts of Mignanoeo in Demon’s Souls? He was on some of the load screens. I mean come on. Geesh”

Anywho. I guess this is a mystery for me with most RPG things. Maybe it’s an artifact of being a japanese RPG making company. they can’t let this trick go (too much character detail for a video game).

-I should probably just say : go watch this specific Zero Punc, and I agree pretty much with all his points. Except i think the game is “hilariously difficult” not “Frustratingly difficult”. I derive enjoyment from wondering what the fuck was wrong with the game designers. plus, there are a couple minor spoilers in that review, which I wish I hadn’t heard about before playing (regarding the end of the tutorial levels).

* Hmm, i should rant more about the game’s unique “ghost” device:
it is a trip the first time some random ghost of another player just wanders through your game. Supposedly that’s some dude playing somewhere else in the world, totally oblivious to you. Really? Somehow it feels like a real ghost. You’re like “oh Shit what is thing that’s gonna kill me… oh it’s just a ghost. where’s it going? huh. why would it do that…? well whatever.”

it is cool, mostly because I’ve never felt the same from any other game. Though I’d imagine if you could share your “ghost tracks” from f-zero with other players, it would be similar (time challenges? is that what they call it?). But i don’t think you can. ehhh. Has any game done this besides racing? … surely. hmm. HMM. I’m failing as a reviewer here…

FAIL! CEASE REVIEW IMMEDIA-

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