Macbeth (2006)- -8/2000

The Short:
This was a horrible failure at making: movies, plays, and entertainment in general.

The Long:
I queued this thinking :

  • I’d like to see some earlier sam worthington, before Avatar.
  • I need to brush up on Macbeth anyway, for this Blood/Sugar2016 project.
  • This guy (Geoffrey Wright) directed Romper Stomper, which everyone loves, so it’ll probably be interesting.
  • you can’t fuck up Macbeth! Whatta play!
      wrong. This was a poorly shot camera test for some squibs, loosely based around a cliff notes approach to macbeth.
      ugh. 

      if it had just tried some direction, any direction, it would have been better. more dialogue. or more violence. more zany street gang costumes. or more sex. or more weird arty (smoke and lighting) bullshit. more forest. (heh. ok, no. more running around in the trees wouldn’t have been a good move.)

      instead it was just a brief mishmash of half hearted crap. Not bad enough to be enjoyably funny. just something you end up wanting to fastforward, despite yourself. Because life is too short.
      It’s the kind of movie that isn’t redeemable in any way. It purely exists to waste 1 hour and 49 minutes of your life. Embarassing everyone involved, and you for watching it.

      let me sum up the good parts, which are likely the elements of a conversation that convinced them to make the movie. They just never latched onto anything more, which would flesh it out from a brief daydream to a full fledged entertainment endeavor. Ahem, the interesting bits:
      – Sam Worthington is a good looking leading man (though rather short it turns out. and he tends to walk goofishly, with his arms dead at his sides)
      – They open with a drug turned shootout, with some weird asian kabooki makeup street gang (though no crazy ethnic makeup will return.)
      – they had some hot chicks, and got them to take off their clothes (with tiny lil tits. Why you’d want to replace the wormy foul witches with some hot little school girls is beyond me. but, ok, sex is sex. Cept there was no real titillating sex. just some brief nudity while people ran off camera, or laid around dead. There was also a gratuitous shot of a fat ugly dude humping the back of a kinda old/ugly lady’s head while he garroted her. It felt like “creep improv.” sexayyyy.)
      – macbeth turns up in a black leather kilt for the end shootout. (whatever. he also hams it up with a gratuitous jig. Worthington seemed to be strengthening his “wacky walks” acting in this movie.)
      – there were big guns (there were also little daggers. why mix it up? it felt like they wanted to relocate the story to a modern time and setting, but then just kinda gave up. At one point they’re all standing around two victims holding these giant guns , straight out of predator, and then one guy walks forward and lowers his big gun so he can pull out a wee gun and shoot them in the legs. weird.)(weird how they couldn’t stick to the GUNS about being a matrix style gun-porn movie).
      – there were a couple hot cars at the beginning (but in the end they solved the birnam wood issue by having the gunmen hide out in a logging truck).
      – in the end they solved the birnam wood issue by having the gunmen hide out in a logging truck (creative i guess. it just seemed totally out of sync to have dirty lumberjack semi featured after their “we’re all rich drug dealers” beginning. bizarre.
      – they shot a kid. (not on camera. but i’d guess they thought they were pretty badass for how they handled it).

      blah blah. I am done writing about this failure. I hope that it was held back by production issues, or the director developing a big drug habit. But i’ve little interest in seeing his other movies now. blah. (I feel a strong need to rent the orson welles Macbeth asap, and wash this one from my brain).

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