Checkup

just finished watching Ridley Scott’s “A Good Year”. i thought it was very charming and delightful. i’m not sure it worked as a “romcom” proper. but. it did warm the cockels of my small black heart.

and here it is almost 430am. It appears almost certain i’ll be taking a proper job in the next week, and the change in schedule will be extraordinary. This the new thing I’ve found to be nervous about. Next I expect i’ll manage to be nervous concerning the quality of my work, and worry that no one will tell me to my face how aweful it all is. But hopefully that will be a brief phase of neurosis, and all will transition to wine and roses once it becomes clear this isn’t another small business boiler situation. hopefully.

Today i signed up for nanowrimo and wrote a little. a very little. I have an idea for what i think is an original novel approach. a gimmick and goal. but no particulars. so it seems ideal for random typing madness.

but today i only wrote around 300 words before i found myself wondering if i shouldn’t be getting to the point a bit faste. this being complicated by the fact that i’ve no idea what the point is at any singular part of the story. hmm. soo.l perhaps I just need to convince myself that a point can be inserted later.

it is all a series of negotiations i guess.

I just need to show up.

Finished re-reading the Watchmen comic book once my brain threw a shoe. what a story. i noted many more interesting details. i wonder how young i was when i first read? did i perhaps skip text blocks due to impatience? or did i genuinely fail to see the connections. hmm. Well. today i was overhwelmed with curiosity as to the authors ultimate goal. was there some need to reference the “turn yourself into a super man” advert so heavily (it being so common in the comics i read as a kid), by making it into a jungian self affirmation exercise for the human race? And wasnt’ the final character, a fat sloppy curly haired dork, the penultimate comic book reader?

It seemed the final message was that the power was in my hands as the reader, and I was being asked what I would do with it. this is what freaked me out (such that I was frustrated I couldn’t form a concise solution, and ended up abruptly taking a nap). It seemed implied that the villian read the black frigate comic as a child, when he mentions a dream of swimming, briefly, before changing gears. It seemed the victims of his scheme were all turning out to do the right thing and stop the fight, just before he stopped all fights. I am not sure how much the final solution is meant to be a joke, or meant to be a truly viable solution, or meant to be simply horrific and depraved. When you start saying someone’s incredibly smart, and they’ve thought it through, the reader is tasked with deciding whether they think both the author and character are proving to be smarter than he. it seems goofy and sick… but maybe it’s over your head?

hmmm.

well. anywho. there was also some reference to the comedian character being a representation of all war. and this made me wonder if all the characters didn’t represent some sort of greek god. And then i remembered that ozymandius was the greek title for ramsesII. and i thoughti should look somethings up. and woof, i just had to take a nap instead. erf.

spent much of the night playing Fallout3. really enjoying the hell out of it. yowza. Managed to talk a woman into fleeing her crazed protector’s insane den of sex, with promises that i’d escort her to Rivet Town. cept I had no idea where this was. oops. snooped online for a quick map reference, so i could at least head out in the right direction. fought many battles. slaughtered several gangs of raiders. always with her a few feet behind me, cowering in a nighty. it was intense. then we ran into waves of super mutants, and she kept flipping out and fleeing, only to suddenly run up and assure me it was a false alarm.  In the end, I was just running like hell from 2 super mutants, came across a caravan fighting a third and ran up a ramp to find 2 more coming towards me. I’d never killed more than 2 of these guys at once. so i decided to go for it. turned and threw down land mines, and whipped out my lazer rifle. Almost instantly killed the girl i’d been protecting for the last hour. Killed the hell out all the attackers. felt HORRIBLE for having wasted so much time on the girl. (and well, breaking the promise you know). decided not to start over. And when i went back down the ramp i found that Rive town was like 10 feet to the right. I WAS SO CLOSE! if only i’d kept track of my map, and ran to the right instead of up the ramp: we totally would have made it with 5 super mutants on our heels. AHHHHH!!!!

it was good times. i love this game on many levels.

anywho. i am now babbling excessively about an experience anyone can have for around 50 bucks. buy the game. wee. i guess that should be my explanation: just go buy it. i guess. meh.

Also, my delightful girlfriend suprised me with a t-bone steak dinner, and we watched an episode of Fringe.

and. somewhere in there i whipped out a vitreous humor. which didn’t seem to quite find it’s mark. and i watched a couple disturbing political videos from a friend of mine in LA. I tried to talk to him about politics, encouraging him to be a little less divisive and partisan. So he replied with more videos, and assured me I had to watch them. ugh.

and bleh. it is late. time for sleep. I think perhaps i should strive to back off on these “pointless checkup” rants. i doubt any vidHero insights are being setup here. :\

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